Eavesdropping

Eavesdropping

(from Within My Illusions)

The old man sat

on the bench near mine,

beating the rhythm

of a slow waltz

as he tapped his cane on dirt.

Rat tat-tat.

I wonder what it feels like

to live in his imagination.

I know myself in this way—

I need space inside my head

for thoughts to roam free,

to drift and soar

unbound by form,

a floating melody.

I’ve known it from the time I was born,

from the time I was a girl,

the times my mother would inquire,

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I sensed her disappointment

every time I replied,

“Nothing.”

But I couldn’t break the spell.

Something magical was happening

in that space, something that wouldn’t yet be

contained by sentences,

identified by words or phrases,

or limited by periods.

And now I spend my days

threading words on a chain,

untangling strands of thought

and weaving them back together,

only to unravel the yarn

and knit a different pattern,

hoping that, over time,

fragments will approximate the whole.

A few months ago, I noticed a spider web anchored to the wind chimes outside my room. I wondered whether the spider could feel the sound vibrations across the silk threads. I also mused that it was perhaps not the most stable place to attach a web. Though the web was gone by morning, the next night a new web was in its place, a pattern which has repeated daily since. I guess the spider knows more than I do about where to place her web. 😊

Last week, I stepped outside at just the right time to witness the web spinning in action. It reminded me of a ballet or an acrobat with aerial silks. It also made me think about the opportunities I (and we) have begin anew each day. I took a short video of the spider spinner her web to share with you below.

Wishing you the space you need to hear the melodies in your mind and to spin a beautiful web.

With love,

Jennifer