top of page

Life in Full Bloom

Life in Full Bloom

(from Brainstorms)

I built a fortress around my heart,

day by day,

year by year,

brick by brick,

until I couldn’t feel

what it was like to be me anymore.

Moving through the rhythm of my days,

blocking out the things I thought might wound me,

but also holding in

the fullest expression of myself

for fear of failure,

of rejection.

I am trying to let down my armor,

to let those guards who have been faithfully protecting

the softest, most fragile part of me

take a well-earned break from their duties.

As cracks begin to form

and rays of light penetrate to my core,

I begin to feel more intensely:

the joy of a connection with an unexpected friend,

and the profound pain when that friend is in

distress and reaches out for help.

the exquisite ecstasy of allowing myself to really feel love

and the fear that if I dive too deep I might drown.

the exhilaration of turning a corner

at the moment the sun dips below the horizon

and seeing the cloud-streaked sky ablaze with color

and patterns more magnificent than fireworks,

jolting me awake as I remember

there is so much more to this life experience

when I allow the emotion to filter through.

The feelings overwhelm me

and I hurry back to the security of my barricade

like a startled turtle hiding in its shell.

But slowly, patiently,

I am building the courage to keep sticking out my neck,

gentle with myself,

knowing that one day soon

I will learn to live life in full bloom.

bottom of page