Regret
(From Brainstorms)
I wish I would have held you
just a little longer
in the moment
that you needed
a connection.
I wish I would have held you
just a bit tighter
and allowed
my heart
to soften.
Instead I let my ego in,
afraid of your rejection.
When perhaps the truth
is we both need
a loving ear to listen.
Sometimes it's easy to for me to get so mentally mired in the past that I forget I have opportunities to make new and different choices now and in the future. But when I zoom out a bit, linger just at the edge of regret and compassion, I begin to notice patterns in myself like the rings of a tree. I can feel remorse and at the same time offer myself care. I was doing the best that I could at the time. As long as I'm here and in all my imperfection, I will be growing. As I mend the wounds in myself, I notice that how I relate to others and life itself becomes more open.
The person about whom I wrote this poem was no longer in my life when I wrote it. I didn't get the chance to have the sort of closure I would have liked—another regret, another part of the journey.
With love,
Jennifer